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November 11th, 2010
08:20 pm
( Why Consider Psilocybin God’s Sacrament? )
I've always thought the crosses might be trying to eat me without my knowing. Sacraments are consumed, then forgotten. I do like the first half, not so the other. Lost the nook again - but there were customers happy when I found it again. I hired someone? Faith did. I'll remember, but it's warm inside and I'd rather roll in what's left of warm, wet earth for now.
The streets stuck like candy and laughter - was there a parade?
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October 7th, 2010
06:13 pm
I feel older than my dirt, feel older than those Harvard roots. Was I Xochipelli once? I don't think so, but I feel something like chanting in my veins more and more often, now.
Shift and quake and break and reform and reattach and circle around it again. I thought, once, we were stable - as stable as we ever could be - now I don't remember a time we were doing anything else.
Maybe I could dance and protect flowers, too. Maybe I could be that much a star - my roots haven't changed.
The native people would pick
these little
mushrooms
and some were small and yellow
and some were black
had small round heads
and slender stems
mixed
and
eaten
with honey or with chocolate
would make one see many things
would not make them
would be not afraid
would laugh
would dance or weep
would merely sit and dream.
Some had visions of death
of falling in battle
believed that they were being eaten
by a wild animal
believed that they would become
very wealthy
all forms of good or evil
could become a reality
referred to as teonanácatl
teo implies divine
nacatl meat or mushroom
flesh of the gods
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August 31st, 2010
07:46 pm
Back. I hadn't been gone but I had been - spinning and not quite sure of where or what until ended up back in New Mexico lost and my angel had to come and reel me in from the desert. I closed it all down so that I could grow up through the ashes of it and be new again. Feel the rain and autumn coming, and can it be time now for a quiet sort of darkness in the cool dew of the air?
I don't know what's happened. Can I leave it and be embraced again and wander out my own way when I need to? I'm not strong, but I was stronger than stems should be and even when we are it isn't love as much as hunger.
Back. Opened up again. Come in but step carefully, I'm sending out spores to connect myself to the universe again the way I should be. Hyphae crawling out like vines to hold us. Thinking about it and pretending I was listening doesn't do any of us any good - just feel it. There's change here, and I wasn't part of it because I couldn't make myself change again.
But I'm back.
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April 29th, 2010
06:55 pm
I slept well. Rolling tires under me and hitchhiking, but then I was home and I slept easy - deep. This is getting easier, clearer. And I can feel that you know.
Grandfather was right - how long ago was it? - things slip back into place when you aren't looking, shift and change when you think they shouldn't. Nothing breaks forever, things patched back together form tighter when they coalesce. Grow together into one body. And I can feel the hyphae, snaking out like living branches.
I want to have a dance. And I want you to come for breakfast.
( Delivered to Marijuana )
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March 29th, 2010
10:08 pm
There's bright red and it gashes through brown, grows up through and around roots to mark the place - It belongs there, connects.
Brother? Your art moves the earth, but it feels like a test.
( Private to LSD & Speed )
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March 19th, 2010
07:42 pm
You cook your brain- You cook in your eyeballs
It never got around
Richard and David knew. Florida and New Mexico, and I’ve been remembering hot winters lately and enough sun to help me feel just the right amount of dried out when I needed to be. Things are starting to slide back into place. I don’t think I want it back but today I would bleed to be dirty and just a little more dry. Celebration I think.
Maybe Johnny knew too, but I can’t remember now if he was real.
Don't pretend to lie - Don't talk about it too much - You'll make it so
( Delivered to Opium )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/mood/lierre/buggy/happy.gif) cheerful
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December 26th, 2009
05:56 pm
I have presents and I don't understand them, this, the holiday that isn't connected to any of us - we could have had our own, once, could have been usurpers and now there are these ties of the commercialized digging into us, too -
I feel guilty.
( Private to the Drug Family )
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December 6th, 2009
November 25th, 2009
03:39 pm
Things spin away. I forget.
There's an upswing though, dancing in the off-wings behind the curtain. Something's changed, and something's lost, and something's found where it's always been. We lose each other, and find each other, and find the things we need to hold on to. In the process, we give each other up. Sometimes we're forced to, but sometimes natural like breathing or sinking to dirt.
Sunday a reporter came and asked, Why Breakfast? Why only? But it's supposed to be like home and family and rolling out of bed to something warm and filling and good enough to hold you all day with the memory. That's what I said, Faith interpreted, I don't think he understood - but he didn't need to. I didn't need him to.
I'm thankful for my family. All.
I miss them. I miss you.
I miss.
ETA: I wish I could take a trip.
( Private to Harmony and Speed )
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October 15th, 2009
October 3rd, 2009
September 23rd, 2009
05:54 pm
something's lost
long gone deep
and someonething's
found
in
balance,
in right,
spin out and
close your eyes.
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September 3rd, 2009
08:58 pm
Spitzenkörper, you
plant your needs in my skin and
I will make love grow like hyphae -
mycelium taking to wet ground.
Hyphae grow at their tips,
vesicles crawling -
they can branch through
so that I can branch out arms
to take you in and hold close.
( Private to Family )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/mood/lierre/buggy/relaxed.gif) calm
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August 15th, 2009
07:08 pm
We'll move soon - The last things to do are growing and done. I'm anxious to be useful, to draw all of mine back to me. Faith is making calls.
Does anyone need a job?
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August 2nd, 2009
July 20th, 2009
06:37 pm - [Faith]
You know what's great? Being back in New York City!
You know what's not? Realtors who give you funny looks when your god savior boss starts talking about how this isn't a 'space' it's a 'nook' connected to all the other nooks in the universe, and asking if the energy in the air feels wet like dirt to him.
Seriously, you all are so weird when you're trying just to freak someone out! At least we got all the paperwork signed and there are two apartments in the space above the restaurant, too. It'll be so awesome once it's all fixed up. It's not nearly as cool as The Highway (sorry, Trace!) but we'll make it perfect.
Also, hello!
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July 11th, 2009
06:41 pm
There's too much to read when I just want to dream in color and be with my family.
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July 6th, 2009
July 5th, 2009
01:48 pm
I drove through ( heaven. )
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June 29th, 2009
09:48 pm
Roads home are longer – they arc and ache like electricity in the middle of the night and stretch themselves out between stars. Maybe things flow faster if they’re not weighed down fears and failure.
I wanted to breathe into dust and form life like I was a god made of more than dirt and the things that lurk inside of it, but we can’t be everything and we settle, survive, being just what we are and what nature and the universe has made us. And I’m connected, even when I don’t want to be.
Last time was an airplane and before that he back of a grayhound and it would have been better if it had been a dog.
Dogs always know where home is.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/mood/lierre/buggy/thoughtful.gif) contemplative
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